Been a while, huh?

I'm frankly impressed with myself for managing to go so long with updating these weekly, but admittedly I dropped off after both losing the motivation to write these blog posts (they're quite time intensive, I'll get to that!) and just generally running out of things to talk about. It was originally supposed to be a hybrid of a weekly update to show you what I'm working on while also tying into whatever design philosophy I'm applying for that week's theme, but trying to avoid major story spoilers and also not wanting to retread topics made that a short lived concept.

Regardless, these are a ton of fun to make and are generally well received, so whenever I have an idea worth talking about, I'll be typing up one of these!

Video games take a long time to make.

I honestly wrestle a lot with the time factor of Axial. Disc 1 was a bit of a pipe dream for me, something that I was always trying to work for but went a pretty long time without anticipating any real outcome from. Even up to the final months before the game was complete, it felt like we could take as much time as we needed, but no matter what you do, there's always going to be a bit of a looming rush.

"The game will come out when it's ready" is something that I've always believed in, to ensure that instead of rushing to publish a mediocre work, I can take my time and release the best product possible. Despite this, I'm sorta consumed by invisible deadlines.  During the development of Disc 1, I told myself "Disc 2, with its reused assets combined with my improved skill, will surely take much less time to make! I might be able to finish it in a year!" When Disc 1 came out, that's also what I habitually told people when they asked when the next entry was coming. And so, when the first year of development came and passed, despite me logically knowing that I had no deadlines and would be better off taking the time I need, I still felt like I was running behind schedule, looking at how little of the game I seemed to have finished in that first year.

What I failed to account for was just how ambitious Disc 2 actually is. The story, being a partial retelling of Disc 1, required much more finesse to ensure that continuity was retained. My plans for a more open experience that appealed to fans of the Disc 1 postgame would demand more planning, and the save file carryover combined with the reuse of Disc 1 locales would mean I needed to take extra care to ensure the save file transfer and leftover files didn't cause any unforeseen errors. All of this, combined with Disc 2's many new dungeons, definitely warrants a relatively long dev cycle.

And yet, despite this, I can't help but compare myself to myself when I made Disc 1.

Disc 1 was made fast.

Compared to my peers, I actually am pretty fast at making content, even for Disc 2. I can make half an hour's worth of content in a month, where fellow devs may take several months before their next hour of content is ready. A lot of it can be blamed on my bursty workflow, where I blast through a lot of tasks in a short period of time, a lot can be blamed on my flexible work schedule, and a lot can be blamed on my standards of quality, where I throw stuff in and only change it when my testers start to complain. Regardless of the source, the fact of the matter is that I made 80% of Disc 1 over the course of 9 months, and in the course of an entire year, well... not to get anyone's hopes up, but Disc 2 is probably around 40% complete now.

Even when I account for the extra time between the No Battle Demo and the Complete Demo, it still feels like an unfair comparison (Disc 1, from the completion of the NB Demo to the beta of the entire game, took a total of 17 months to finish, with 8 months dedicated to the creation of the combat system and every necessary asset up until the Lux fight, and the next 9 months dedicated to completing the rest of the game, with a final 3 months between the completion of the game and the release date dedicated to testing). It just doesn't seem quite fair when I look at just how much work I have in front of me and realize that I am going comparatively much slower than I was during Disc 1.

So, what is the hold up?

A decent amount could be blamed on life. It isn't 2020 anymore, so I have friends that want to hang out and work is busier and I made a lot of life changes. I bought a home just over a year ago, so the majority of Disc 2 was developed in this new workspace. I took career risks that sucked up my time, I improved my relationships with some loved ones, and for some reason I've been consumed by an abundant lethargy for the past year or so which I'm starting to think could be a factor.

But on the flipside, so much has changed to give me more free time. My roommate quit Smash, meaning I by proxy also quit Smash. My work hours are shorter, and I have more days off every week, and I live in a sketchier neighborhood now that has sorta stifled my addiction to late night solitary walks.  By all accounts, I should be working more, not less.

And there's pretty good reason as to why this frustrates me.

You see, time is a very finite resource for a pathetic mortal like myself. I'm young, yes, but I'm also one car accident or public shooting or Bionicle-related accident away from dying. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, and every day that I spend without a finished Axial is one more day that Axial doesn't exist.

Not just that, but I have other projects I want to make as well. Almost Infinity (pictured above) is a project that I've wanted to create with a dear friend for years, but even after we started working on it I slowly drifted away due to Axial taking precedent. I have a backlog of games I want to make, I want to compete in video games again, I want to be able to care about something other than Axial, y'know? This game I'm making is one of the greatest blessings in my life, truly my favourite game, worthy of being my obsession. But at the end of the day, it's also a bit of a shackle, for even if I tell myself that it doesn't matter and I should make what I want, I will never be able to shake the drive to make Axial until Axial is made.

Well, unfortunately, I don't have a satisfactory answer to all of this. What I am more confident in saying, however, is that this doesn't really matter. Disc 2 will be ready when it's ready, and I have no intentions on stopping until my vision for the game is fulfilled. It might take me longer than expected, but as long as I don't give up or die, it will happen, and it will be awesome when it does.

So I hope you guys don't mind waiting with me. Let's see where Axial goes.