So. 365 days ago I published Axial Disc 1.

I don't think I have to explain what Axial is or how it turned out considering the people who read these are like the most core of the core audience. Unlike usual, I don't even really know what to say here, but I feel like if any day is worth writing up a blog for, it's this one. I think perhaps the most appropriate use of this time would just be to describe my feelings about it all.

So, obviously I've dealt with imposter syndrome.

Anyone who has made anything probably has. But at times, I wonder if I don't experience imposter syndrome enough. I know, leave it to me to manage to have imposter syndrome about imposter syndrome, right?

Basically, leading up to the release of Disc 1, I wasn't very nervous. Of course, there was the typical nervousness that comes with a huge release, like worrying about technical difficulties and making sure everything lines up right, but I never had any fears about the game's reception. Basically during that entire last week before the game was available to the public, I had been 100% confident that the game would be positively received. I was right too, the game was very positively received. During the entire year that the game has been released, we had 36 positive reviews, and 2 negative reviews (one of which was to complain about the shade of green we chose for the UI and a bug that had already been fixed). The game won an award in the Beta Testers server - several awards, in fact, and was even nominated for a few others. Axial has been an undeniable critical success.

And honestly, I think the game deserves the success it got. 

After all, it was designed to be my favourite game; of course it's good! But at times, I also can't help but wonder if I'm just too confident about it all. Do people really think the game is that good, or am I just that good at arguing my case for why it's good? Is it popular because it's a quality title, or is it just because I won't shut up about it? Did I get all those reviews because I made a great game, or is it just because I have a lot of connections in the community? Those are all questions that cross my mind from time to time, but despite this, I'm never really thinking "oh man, Axial is bad".

Whether or not my internalized confidence is justified isn't really relevant, I think. The hard facts are that a lot of people played Axial in the last year, and of those people, many have given the game a great deal of praise, and far fewer have given negativity. It's easy to get wrapped up in your own head trying to figure out the internal workings of how things are, but the truth is that the only thing we can really be certain of is what has happened, regardless of the underlying causes.

Axial's fans have been so cool, too!

The way the achievement system was set up ended up selectively encouraging a lot of really high level play from people, to the point that we were seeing these huge scavenger hunts in the Steam community page and people discussing strategies in the Discord server, with our mysterious most awesome patron Gustgabe even destroying the game's ultimate superboss in a single turn before emailing me requesting a better challenge in the sequel (I'm working on it!) The Axial community has made a bunch of fanart, music, and even some light mods for the game, and while it's a super small community that isn't always active, it's one that's filled with a ton of positivity. 

At the end of the day, I'm not really sure what I was supposed to say for the anniversary. I considered some kind of post-mortem retrospective, but honestly I think it's a little boring just saying "yeah, some numbers went up", which is kinda how it feels every time I look at the analytics. People seem to like the game, that's the best metric I have. So instead, I think it's better that I just express my gratitude.

This game was my life's work for a long time. Disc 2 is now my new life's work, and it's crazy to think that I even got this far. When I started working on Axial, it felt like this game was never going to happen, but I just kept taking a step forward until it did regardless, and I'm going to keep taking steps forward until Disc 2 happens as well. I want to thank each and every person who ever played Axial, even the thousands of people that tried it for less than 20 minutes before quitting. The hardcore players who worked together to get every achievement, when I barely expected anyone to bother. My friends who never got around to playing the game but gave me support in spades the entire way. My game dev peers who helped shape the game with their feedback and still talk about what the game did right and wrong even to this day. Thank you for such a great year, everyone.

I'm not gonna make this blog any longer than it needs to be, so I guess that's it tonight! It's up to you!